For us thin ones, I believe it is about control, grasping some control when we feel we have none. Blocking out pain, when things are just too much, causing pain to oneself in some form numbs the original feelings. It is like when you are having an injection and you pinch your leg, or another spot, to draw your attention away from the needle going in. Not eating is just the same. This is vital in understanding anorexia, as I know many believe it is simply women and men who are self obsessed and just want to be thin. I promise you, that is not the case.
I'd like to add a little note at the end of this post to say two things. The first being thank you so so much for all your incredible feedback, kind words of support and for spreading the word. I was absolutely petrified to post this publicly, worrying that people would think I was attention seeking, however, Grace, my incredible, supportive friend pushed me, and I am so glad she did. I just hope some good comes of people having some true knowledge of the illness.
I'd also like to say sorry for not posting yesterday, I was pretty much run off my feet, with both a hospital appointment in Chelsea and a doctors appointment after that to check my vitals. It was good to get the support of my therapist on this, in fact she exclaimed "I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE COME OUT MAYA", in her fabulous American accent. To make up for my poor show yesterday, I will try my absolute hardest to post twice today.
Thank you again, now I MUST go eat!